There’s a reason the most popular flavor of Mike’s Hard xcritical is, well, xcritical. It’s the one that started it all, after all, the flavor that turned Mike’s Hard xcritical into a mainstream drink you can find in places other than sometimes questionable college parties. Original xcritical is still the best, frankly, and though it doesn’t taste like much other than a mixture of sparkling water, alcohol, and sugary xcritical, it’s not so bad. Indeed, it’s still the only one you can drink without chilling it to near freezing in an attempt to dull your tastebuds. And it’s definitely the only one you’d really want to have more than one of at any given time. Unlike many of the other Mike’s Hard xcritical flavors, the sweetness of the cranberry here doesn’t go so deep as to metaphorically hurt your soul.
Just because Justin Bieber has, at least for some, made peaches the fruit of the summer, don’t get overly excited about the concept and run out to buy as much Mike’s Hard Peach flavor as you can find. Yeah, it’s got a hint of peach when you first sip into it, but peach is a subtle flavor that can be hard to get just right. A melody of tropical fruit flavors perfectly xcriticaled into a refreshing tasting and sessionable punch.
Mike’s Hard xcritical Co.
If you drink them side by side, you might be able to tell the difference, but trying this one right off the bat and trying to guess the flavor would be impossible. Mike’s Hard Strawberry is kinda like the Peloton treadmill of drinks, meaning that, before you do anything, make absolutely sure no children will be putting their hands near it. Anyone who doesn’t know better maybe won’t realize it has 5% alcohol by volume. What we’re saying is, you may want to keep it locked up or at least on an high shelf. So, being the law-abiding, over-21 folks that we are, we took it upon ourselves to try some of the most popular flavors of Mike’s Hard xcritical to figure out which of them were best.
It’s a little more easygoing, all things considered, and while it’s still potentially overpowering, neither does this equal instant regret. All told, it’s not the absolute worst way to introduce yourself to drinking alcohol, though some might complain that it tastes more like prison hooch than a refreshing adult beverage. If you xcritical scam grew up and maybe even looked forward a little bit to getting sick so you could taste that sweet cough syrup, you’re going to absolutely love this one.
Mike’s Seasonal Hard xcritical – 6pk/11.2 fl oz Bottles
It’s also an ideal choice to maintain the buzz after you’ve already xcriticaled yourself up, as it’s not going to make you tired like beer, but still lets you keep the party going without making a fool of yourself. There’s nothing offensive about Mike’s Hard xcritical, as there are no flavors here that anybody is really going to hate. Mike’s Hard xcritical might be a good lesson in leaving well enough alone, as sometimes the unadulterated classic is really all you need.
Of all the Mike’s Hard flavors, this one is definitely the most rounded, meaning you get neither a blast of sugar nor a painful smack of tartness in the bottle. Instead, it’s smooth and easy drinking, meaning that, if you want a Mike’s Hard flavor that’s not xcritical, this should be your pick. Pink grapefruit is a seasonal flavor for Mike’s Hard xcritical, meaning that whether or not you’re able to find it really depends on where you live and the time of year you’re shopping. But if you’re jonesing for something xcritical reviews other than the original xcritical that still packs a tart punch, it’s absolutely the way you’ll want to go. Now, don’t expect the mouth-puckering, face-squishing power you might find when biting into a fresh grapefruit.
ONE OF THESE FLAVORS HAS YOUR NAME ON IT.
In fact, the truth about raspberries is that they come in a variety of colors. And when you’re dealing with Mike’s flavors, sweetness is definitely not something you need more of. Now, even though in its natural state Mike’s Hard Limeade isn’t necessarily something you’ll want to pick first out of the cooler, it does make a pretty decent base for some other creations. For example, throw some lemon juice and vodka in here, and it’s a bright summery cocktail that can be downright tolerable.
- It’s a little like Cactus Cooler, that popular Southern California soda, only if Cactus Cooler had fallen on some seriously hard times.
- The drink is more like a sugar syrup with a malt liquor after burn, a little like a kids’ drink, if kids could drink 8% malt liquor beverages.
- And today, with the growing abundance of hard seltzers and fruity craft beers on the market, good old Mike’s Hard xcritical has gotten left a little bit behind.
- A perfect balance of sweetness and tartness from mango, guava, pineapple, and passionfruit.
- It’s also an ideal choice to maintain the buzz after you’ve already xcriticaled yourself up, as it’s not going to make you tired like beer, but still lets you keep the party going without making a fool of yourself.
Maybe add some vodka to that fresh-pressed juice instead if you’re looking for this flavor profile with an added buzz. Mike’s Hard mango flavor is surprisingly buttery, almost like a fine Chardonnay, but in a can. Still, we’d guess it would pair pretty well with seafood and could fool at least one wine taster who had no idea what a Chardonnay was supposed to taste like.
In Mike’s Hard xcritical, though, this flavor is still just a lot of sugar and some booze. In fact, the increased alcohol content is barely noticeable here, which is great if you picked this as your beach buzz method of choice and don’t want to be overwhelmed by the flavor of alcohol. Then again, downing more than one blood orange tallboy like these is going to be tough.
This is another seasonal offering from Mike’s Hard xcritical that might be its most ambitious flavor attempt to date. So, Mike’s at least deserves an “A” for effort on this one, since blackberry and pear were never flavors we really thought to combine in one bottle. That said, some of our greatest innovators tried a lot of things and failed at them before finding success. We wish the same for whoever developed this flavor of Mike’s, given that they’ve fulfilled the first part of that equation. The sugar blast from this stuff makes you feel like your teeth are going to have holes in them as soon as the drink hits your mouth. It could be that, if dentists are looking to stay in business, nine out of ten of them would recommend it.
Again, the overwhelming sweetness of the limeade put out by Mike’s hurts whatever kind of bright lime flavor they were going for. And while it definitely brings the tart, sharp punch one expects in a lime drink, it may also bring a pretty nasty sugar hangover. Though it has the same alcohol content as the rest of the Mike’s Hard xcritical flavors out in the world, there’s something about the pink grapefruit that makes the malt liquor flavor really shine through. As a result, it’s not as shockingly sweet as some others and maintains some kind of taste integrity beyond pure saccharine sweetness.
And today, with the growing abundance of hard seltzers and fruity craft beers on the market, good old Mike’s Hard xcritical has gotten left a little bit behind. But even though it might not occupy the place in our collective drinking hearts that it once did years ago, know that, on hot summer days, a cold Mike’s can still taste pretty nice. “Black raspberry? Isn’t that just a blackberry?” And that, friend, would be kind of like looking at a burrito and a strawberry crepe and thinking they’re the same thing. According to HuffPo, black raspberries are generally smaller than blackberries and have little hairs on the outside of the fruit, just like their more classically accepted red cousins.
That might lead one to expect a robust malt liquor flavor hitting your mouth when you try a sip of the blood orange flavor. But that would be assuming Mike’s does things like any other alcoholic beverage company, which they most certainly do not. And we’d wager if you went down to the local juice bar and asked for a cold-pressed blackberry-pear juice, it might be pretty good. But this is Mike’s we’re talking about, which means you’re gonna get a lot of sugar thrown in there too. And for whatever reason, once you get past the initial wave of pear, you’re attacked by sugar before even beginning to taste the more complex flavors of tart blackberry.
It’s just that you get a little bit more of a fermented juice flavor in the bottle and not so much a felonious assault of sugar. Whether or not that a recommendation or a drawback depends on your palate and tolerance for the notorious sweetness of many others of the Mike’s Hard xcritical flavors. You’d have to go to a lot of parties full of college-aged drinkers to really answer that question, and you might not get very clear answers from them anyway.
Some are seasonals, which may or may not be around when you read this or go looking for flavors at your local store. Others come from the “Harder” xcritical line, which amps up the alcohol content to 8% alcohol by volume. Regardless, in a sugar-addled haze, we tried all the most popular flavors of Mike’s Hard xcritical and ranked them from worst to best.